Monday, April 14, 2014

something, anything, everything

Well, this post has definitely been a long time coming. I had every intention of starting to blog regularly again when I was inspired to write my most recent post (which was, well, not so very recent...), but life got super busy and whirled me off again as it often does. Work has been especially busy lately but also great. Christian is about to finish his second year of law school. Sarkozy is getting old and fat and lazy (in the best possible way). And things are good, really. After updating my Facebook status a couple hours ago, though, I had a kind of epiphany. Even though what I posted was just a silly little run-on sentence, I felt like it was exactly what I wanted to say and exactly what I meant. And it really made me miss writing. 

It's been a year and a half since I had to write anything academic, and even though I'm constantly blogging for grey dog, writing copy for our social media, and sending extremely long texts to my besties (Hi, Gracen), it's been a VERY long time since I wrote anything for myself. Anything creative that was just for me. I think after I finished my English degree I was so burnt out on assignments that I lost my passion a little bit. I've never been a person who feels like writing is the ONLY thing that feels right or that writing is breathing or that I wouldn't be able to sort out my thoughts without writing them down. But at the same time, whenever I do get those random bursts of creativity and feel a craving for stringing words together and streaming my consciousness without inhibition, it does feel more right than anything else just for that moment (or, you know, several moments/minutes/hours). And I think that's something I should take seriously. 

I do want to write a book. I have so many ideas that I write down in notes on my phone, but I can never commit to a whole, single idea, and I've never even tried. But right now, as I'm typing out this blog post, I'm pretty much journaling (a blog really is just a carefully curated journal after all), and I want to look back at this entry in a week, in a month, in a few months, and not have to think "oh man, I still haven't written anything." I want to be able to feel proud and be glad that I didn't let the busyness of life get in my way. So, to my future self: I told you so. 

And to people that are reading this post: I'm sorry if you don't find it interesting or helpful, but I'm still just here being me. Trying to figure things out. Hopefully sooner rather than later, I can produce something that is important, thought-provoking, and something that people will be able to truly connect to. That may never happen on any sort of large scale, but it DEFINITELY won't happen unless I try. This world is beautiful, and life is fleeting, and I want to capture as many moments and thoughts and phenomenons that I absolutely can. So I'm gonna write, I'm gonna take pictures, and I'm gonna make something! Perhaps this will inspire you to do the same. Happy Monday, world.


Anonymous said...

You have a beautiful heart and I absolutely love hearing your thoughts. I love seeing your talents and your zeal for life, lay themselves out on a page. Never stop! :: David

Lydia Armstrong said...

Do you keep an actual journal? If not, you should. It helps to get in the writing habit, and stay there. Sometimes I don't have the energy to work on my book or even to make a half-assed blog post, but it makes me feel a little better to write a few pages in my journal. You should totes write a book! Journaling and just curating your thoughts is a good place to start. Sometimes blogging winds up feeling like a tremendous time-suck for me--just the time it takes to make posts and keep up with things and take pictures and follow other people's blogs. But aside from the fact that I do genuinely love it, one of the reasons I continue to blog is that it gives me a direction--it keeps my creative identity focused in a direction, helps me sort out what matters to me and what my point of view is and how I interpret things.

Steffys Pros and Cons said...

ah i love you. i think our brains work in the exact same way 100%